?TEACHER: How old were you on your last birthday
.STUDENT: Seven
?TEACHER: How old will you be on your next birthday
.STUDENT: Nine
.TEACHER: That's impossible
.STUDENT: No, it isn't, Teacher. I'm eight today
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.TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America
!GEORGE: Here it is
?TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America
CLASS: George
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?TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago
!WILLY: Me
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?SUBSTITUTE TEACHER: Are you chewing gum
.BILLY: No, I'm Billy Anderson
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?TEACHER: Didn't you promise to behave
.STUDENT: Yes, Sir
?TEACHER: And didn't I promise to punish you if you didn't
.STUDENT: Yes, Sir, but since I broke my promise, I don't expect you to keep yours
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?TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty
TOMMY: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground then you are
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?HAROLD: Teacher, would you punish me for something I didn't do
TEACHER: Of course not
HAROLD: Good, because I didn't do my homework
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?TEACHER: Why are you late
WEBSTER: Because of the sign
?TEACHER: What sign
"WEBSTER: The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow
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TEACHER: I hope I didn't see you looking at Don's paper.
JOHN: I hope you didn't either.
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GARY: I don't think I deserve a zero on this test.
TEACHER: I agree, but it's the lowest mark I can give you